I think the trouble with mothers and family in general is that we may want and need to step back to take care of ourselves but then we feel guilty, thinking we are abandoning them when they need the most. And also the fear of losing them, of being left alone. But who takes care of us? I wish I could say something that could comfort you but I'm afraid to be at a loss for words. But don't give up. I hope you may find the help you need. You don't have to carry the weight of your family in your heart, especially when you're the youngest. Whatever dysfunctional dynamics they live with were already in place before you. It's not your fault and there's a big chance your own issues are derived or have been increased by them. Your feelings matter too.