OK, so I'm 19 and still live at home with my family who are extremely supportive and I love them eternally. I'm very close with my parents, they're more like off-duty psychologists or friends than they are authoritative figures. Anyway, I'm currently enduring sleep problems and I'm asleep during the day, awake all night - SO I must've blacked out last night because at some point during my ''sleep'', I wake up in my bed to my mother taking a photograph of me ''sleeping peacefully'' contrary to what I'm like in a bad mood. Regardless, I doze back off to sleep and wake up later in the evening.

I find out that my response to my mother was aggressive and abrupt, spewing "don't touch me" which is something I often do as I don't like people in my bedroom whilst sleeping because I was molested at my then 'friends' sleepover back when I was eleven. Since then I've had severe trust issues and feel uncomfortable going to sleep in case someone touches me WHICH I know, at heart, my family won't do but the paranoia is mentally debilitating.

I understand my mother likely understands this as she's supported me with so much over the years she really is a trooper however it can't be nice being accused by your son of doing something so disgusting and heinous whilst you're trying to take a photo you think is ''cute''. In another world, this is something I would talk about and apologise but it just isn't something I can verbalise - it's something we don't talk about as a family.

I just feel so achingly miserable that it literally makes me want to vomit or lie down for a few hours but I can't do that all the time. It's been like this for a while I just don't know how to handle it. I'll bring it all up with my therapist next session, a little over a week away and see what she suggests. We're mostly focusing on my agoraphobia so it just feels like I'm overwhelmed with issues. I know it could all be so much worse which is an acknowledgment weighing me down with guilt.

I just don't know what to do, think or say. I feel powerless.