I don't know to what extent I had agency in my life prior to starting my most recent round of therapy. I guess enough. I have a successful marriage and career.

I didn't want to give that power to him. Ever. I remember fighting against it. Especially since I knew almost from the beginning of the relationship that it will be short lived. But here I sit, completely dependent upon him. I watched my control over the relationship slip between my fingers. I tried to assert my power to leave, and his "unconditional positive regard" and empathy and his "curious and respectful" approach lured me back in. Now, the idea of continuing this therapy journey without him seems untenable. And I'm so miserably unhappy with the way things are. I don't want to be attached to him. I don't want to care about him. And yet...