I don't think you are being dramatic. It's authentic and important to get it off your chest. I don't know how to respond but I hear and support you. You're not alone. I do get joy out of the small things as well. I also admire your discipline and hard work. I am truly sorry it's not bringing you fulfillment. I hope at some point you find something that does bring you joy and fulfillment. I'm glad you posted this.