oh God I hear you with the wanting the damned bipolar to go away. I've been riding this dragon for decades. Piling a sick loved one on top of that is a burden that could break anyone's back. Care giver burn is especially hard on us.

Please try to get help for yourself through this nightmare. You can't help anyone else if you neglect yourself.

We're here for you. Please post as often as you want or need to. Lot of shoulders to lean on here at PC.