I don't have that fantasy since I already worked through those feelings. I don't have those expectations of being saved; rescued. Your T has told you she loves you repeatedly and gone out of her way to show you she truly cares and texting you between sessions and all. I wonder if you would feel this way had your T not fully accepted you as some of us talk about not being fully accepted here?

Expecting him to try to work something out (a five minute call per week, seeing me once every three weeks temporarily, etc) is more about respect, compassion, and human decency than a childhood fantasy. At the same time, it cuts deeply in my core issues. It brought out horrible childhood feelings of worthlessness due to the attachment I had to him. He didn't show concern during our last session--just sat there as I bawled my eyes out.

If my husband (I don't have one) decided to desert me when I had cancer (John Edwards?), even though it may stir up childhood feelings and transference, being hurt is being hurt. All feelings include transference, but this doesn't mean the feelings are less realistic. If Elizabeth Edwards felt her childhood abandonment feelings and thought to herself-while I'm an adult not a child, I agree with you that may help 'get over' something like that, but this isn't entirely about transference. I'm not sure my expectation for him not to immediately drop me the second I couldn't pay may have been a bit high, but not unrealistic.

Anyway, thanks Bay for sharing your perspective about how your fantasies drove your expectations and actions. I'm thinking this is mostly about triggering my core issues, which is too bad because that's not something he was that good at helping me with, i am just realizing now.