((((Hugs))))) Empathy comes from being able to imagine yourself in someone else's shoes, feeling what they are feeling and experiencing what they are. This takes practice, but it can be developed. I agree that you have shown a lot of insight into yourself and it's very admirable that you wish to make some changes. It does seem like you shut down emotionally to protect yourself, which is a natural defense mechanism to past abuse. Opening yourself up to feeling again is making yourself more vulnerable again, but it's possible to be empathetic while also protecting yourself emotionally. You can try to just understand how a person is feeling and show them that you are sympathetic.... words like "I understand how you feel" or "I get it", and "I hear you" are indicative of hearing the person and showing your empathy. Practice practice practice.... it'll come if you work at it. (((((hugs again)))))