It sounds like you have low self esteem and social anxiety and depression maybe? How does that sound to you? Take that with a grain of salt because really, we cannot diagnose you here at PC and I am not a professional. You are feeling numb but being able to do things... I think going away to college is a big adjustment for anybody. It sounds like it is for you. For some people, they leave home, go to college and thrive. For other people, it is harder to adjust. It was for me.

Why do you feel like an annoyance to the people you hung out with? I do want to say, if you have been isolated for a while, with no friends, and feel bad about yourself, it might take some time to figure out who you want to hang out with, and who makes you feel good (who you can call a true friend). If you make a mistake in that department, it's ok. Keep trying. Mistakes mean you are learning and trying.

Is there a counseling office at your college you can go to? Counseling is confidential. Also was wondering if you are taking medication. Medication can be needed sometimes, but while on it, it can numb your feelings so I was just wondering if you were already taking something.

I also wanted to say, it's ok to not know what you want to do with your life. You are young. I have always thought it strange that colleges push for that kind of thing so early in a person. TravelingLady is right, you can explore your interests.

I hope you keep posting Tumblr.