Had a major meltdown last night and ended up swearing at a nurse. She got angry with me and called me out. I deserved it but was in a highly agitated state. I think a mixed state which started Saturday. The new antidepressant Zoloft is probably the culprit. It did increase my mood but made me very emotional and still depressed while happy at the same time.

Now I feel ashamed of myself and scared to talk to nurses. Didn't sleep well. It is 6 am here and I've been awake awhile. Have a big day of study and TMS. Feel like hiding all day but must get into it or I will go mad isolating myself and accomplishing nothing. Seeing my pdoc today. Guessing he will stop the Zoloft and I will be left depressed again waiting for the TMS to work. This morning I want to die but I am going to try to push through and have an ok day.