Quote:
Originally Posted by adlucem
Hello. I joined this forum today. So, I'll start with an introduction.
I've been married to my (bipolar and very intelligent) husband for 20 years now. We've been through many ups and downs and handled many of them quite well. We decided not to have children so we could focus on keeping the atmosphere at home conducive. Despite being bipolar, my hubby had a similar career graph as mine in the software industry. A couple of years back, after we went loan-free, he decided to retire at the age of 50, doing only things he wants to do or enjoys doing. I supported his decision requiring only that he keep himself busy. And he does that, although he does not stick on with an interest long enough to develop meaningful relationships or friendships, which I so hoped he would.
He has been an extrovert all his life but now his world is shrinking. When I'm away at work, he spends many hours alone. It breaks my heart to not be there with him but I need to work to support my mother. That's another story.
What bothers me the most these days is that at social gatherings, usually with extended family, we tend to be isolated because of a few reasons - the stigma associated with the illness, a lot of the conversations center around children which we don't have, he is not doing anything that he can talk about. I am not sure how we should deal with this without withdrawing from society. We do participate in activities that we like, such as going for holidays, workshops, retreats, movies etc. But how do we continue to have a social life and not become recluses? I'd appreciate your thoughts and inputs.
Thanks.
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don't know if i have any answers but will give it my best try: i'm the hypomanic wife with a somewhat introverted hubby and we both are retired. for me, i can enjoy socializing with people only for short periods of time; we have a network of friends whom we've met at our health club and i make no secret of having a mental illness; i can be very outgoing and social for the 2 hrs. at the club and then i need a lot of alone time to remain stable; we go to dinner and movies and do some traveling and we both have adult kids from previous marriages, none of whom live in our state. i've found that men aren't as deep as women as far as their social interaction and what they are comfortable discussing: my husband plays golf 2-3 times a week and always tells me the guys only discuss finances, stocks, golf games, politics. he knows after 32 yrs. of marriage that i want `girl' talk with him which is different than when he's with his guy friends. maybe both of you are quite content with the lives you've created and maybe hubby is content being home and maybe you are projecting that he isn't comfortable or enjoying time with friends and extended family...to me it sounds like you both have a social life and hubby may be very content when you feel that he isn't.