I have pushed a lot of family away, now I'm pretty alone. Mostly I think I'm right in reacting the way I have done given my history with them. I know I've sometimes been aggressive when I'm depressed. That only makes people turn against you, which makes you even more despondent and depressed. It's a vicious, downward spiral...

I'm an adult and I'm still stuck in this familial quicksand (that's how it feels), not able to start my own life, my own family and develop a network of close and loyal friends. I doubt it will happen. I've been living this strange lifestyle for too long now...