I know you think little of yourself, but this shows you're not at all a bad person. What differentiates you from evil murderers and rapists is that you can recognise where you might need a little help. You know it's wrong to hurt people and choose not to. You acknowledge that it's not 'good' or whatever to be incapable of empathising with others and seem to have intentions to change that. You definitely have my praise for choosing not to go down a different path... showing how strong you are as a person as many people totally break down, lose touch with reality and do something extremely awful.

You're definitely not a narcissist. OR a psychopath. It sounds like you're experiencing immense self loathing. There a lot of awful people out there who deliberately want to hurt others -- who aren't trustworthy by any means. I'm sorry you came into contact with them, I have too, many times. But as difficult as it can be, you have to try and realise not every human has bad intentions and some people who can relate with you and understand you are okay to trust a little. Otherwise, you might end up extremely lonely which isn't good for anyones mentality.

Please don't think so little of yourself If it's any consolation, I have severe trust issues too and find it near impossible to open up -- if you need someone to vent/offload anything to, I'm available