i recall an instance, i was about 13 at the time, i lived with my father, a Catholic turned athiest...

maybe for one of the first times in my life, looking inward, questioning, and asking myself... Does God exist?

i didnt have an answer then... the question led to more questions and i didnt have the information i needed to answer the question...

so began my inner dialogue... i knew it wasa critical, life important question and i determined i would not give it an easy, quick answer... i knew the feeling inside myself about knowing something...

i knew i wanted love and i knew the feeling when i recieved it... i loved playing with my pets, and i knew the feeling when i enjoyed it...

but when i asked myself a about God, no feelings came to me... there was no experience or context to draw information from... it remained an open quiestion for me and i made a mental choice that i would look about and try to find signs and information to prove God existed, and what It was all about...

years passed.... at times i re-visited the innser question and found there was still too little information i trusted to be able to find an answer,, and so i kept collecting information... especially when i was down and it seemed there was no place else to turn for help...

a few instances found me in helpless situatiopns... then i turned to God, only then God was a huge unknown and so i put my prayer "out there", somehwhere God was supposed to be able to recieve it, as I'd been told happens...

well, there were no immediate, identifiable changes in my life, but i took note that i survived the ordeals i'd turned to God for and for whhich i prayed to be relieved of... i noted that my prayers were answered in specific ways but still had this illness, and God hadnt healed it yet, though i'd asked...

i now see more clearly... God was there enduringly.. it was myself who wasnt ready and looking back, i can see that God was working to make me ready (i was so stubborn) and that is what took the most time... for me to be ready in my heart and mind to recieve...

i guess i just had to experience enough despair that i was ready to give up everything i thought was true... the evidence of its "incorrectness" was all around me... my life a shambles, and me an emotional pool of confusion...

more than once i came to God completely open, completely trusting, completely ignorant, and asked for help...

things then began to change...

it didnt happen all at once, but now God must have known i was at the end of the line, had no more bright ideas of my own, and began to let me see Spirit in small doses because as a newbie, i wasnt prepared for all that Grace and Beauty at one time...

God knew the speed to teach, to show... eventually i caught on..

i learned to open and trust... it wasnt easy and i self-questioned and confused myslf trying to understand, but again, and again, and again, God came in and lifted me up.. i witnessed the lifting of others around me, i found myself in situations where, if i hadnt had faith, no doubt in my mind, i would have died...

i witnessed deathly dangerous situations change to experiences of magnificent joy and love.. i witnessed known killers become kittens before my very eyes...

my eyes then opened wider and i trusted more.. i took more chances in and began to trust that God would be there, just as i'd been told and shown to depend on...

it happened again and again... eventually i gave up distrust and gave it over to trust completely...

i began to pray more often, to ask for guidance and assitance and faith... i asked and prayed that God keep my direction in alignment with the wishes of Spirit and allowed Spirit to guide me...

i found myself in social situations that previously i'd have been frozen in fear by, but, though i still had fear, since it was still new for me, God showed again and again there was no need for fear..

in my life i know i will get myself in confrontational situations... some are life risking, and i know God is there with me through every moment... i know i am mortal and one day, the situation may rise and claim my physical body... and i know God will be there, willing to accept my soul into Its' own, finally to rest in peace....

this is my current best answer to the question of Gods' Healing.... i will watch the thread to see if i can contribute more, but i, for one, will attest to Gods' Healing power...