Fluff said </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Once insight is planted it grows on its own as well as in therapy....My way of thinking had changed and there was no stopping it.

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I can’t believe you made this statement at this very point. I was just at a party last night and at one point the topics of conversation shifted to the purpose of higher education. There were only 4 of us chatting but we came from very different backgrounds and had very different ideas about education. At one point I mentioned that I believed that learning was not just about acquiring new skills. Although skills and content knowledge are important, learning is also about gaining new insight that profoundly affects how one sees the world and themselves. In some cases these new insights can elicit a cascade effect that transforms a person into someone totally different.

Therapy has had that type of affect on me. My T has successfully planted some seeds of insight that, given where I am in my life experience, have taken root. The affects of this insight has brought into question many other previously held beliefs and has create turmoil as I try to assess who I am now and who I want to be. Deep down inside I know there is no stopping it—denial is no longer possible.

Sky you are probably right if I am going back and forth on whether to stay or go, then I should continue until the best option becomes clearer. I think in creating this post I was searching for some tangible reasons to continue therapy and learn more about myself. My original crisis provided that-- the situation at home was intolerable, it was hurting my children, it was escalating and I needed to do something. Where I’m at now seems grayer, less pressing, and more about me as an individual. For some reason it’s harder for me to justify that I am worth it, especially when I am feeling a bit down and frustrated. I don’t know if that makes sense or not.