Quote:
Originally Posted by vander512
That is the question my therapist asked me.
|
This is an extraordinarily valid question in my opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vander512
I can be very cynical at times. I might have been rude. The reason is that I need a lot of help. I was trying to tell my therapist that I am frustrated by the whole experience. It is not easy for me to discuss feelings.
|
There have been times that I have been very cynical and rude as well. The reason is never that I need a lot of help. The reason has been because I didn't have the tools to seek what I need without being cynical or rude.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vander512
She felt that I was attacking her personally.
|
Did she tell you this directly or did you surmise this because if
you responded the way she did
you would be attacking someone? Are you projecting your own communication style on to her?
Quote:
Originally Posted by vander512
I thought she was very unkind to me when I was trying to be candid with her.
|
Just because I think a thing doesn't make it so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vander512
She wanted to win the argument by punching me in the gut.
|
I'm not suggesting that there aren't some therapists that would do this, but you say that she is very good. If you are right about her being very good, then I'd suggest that it is quite possible that your interpretation of her reaction may have been off base.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vander512
I know if I bring it up she will dismiss me.
|
Just because I fear a thing, doesn't make it so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vander512
I felt like she was telling me I could quit therapy or I could shut up.
|
Just because I feel a thing doesn't make it so. I know that I'm repeating myself here, but there is a pattern here. Unless she has told you that you are in danger of being 'fired' unless you start communicating in a way that she deems acceptable that you'll be let go, then you don't know it. Your fears may be justified, I've had therapists who have done this before. I had a mother who has done this before. As a result, I began fearing this from everyone, including those who only had my best interests in mind and would do no such thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vander512
She encourages this and then when she didn't like what I was saying she shut me up.
|
My therapist has interjected at times when she saw me falling down the rabbit hole of faulty thinking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vander512
I am afraid if I bring this up she will fire me or hurt me worse.
|
I understand fear, but fear of a thing doesn't make the thing true.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vander512
She thought I was trying to be critical of her.
|
Again, typically when I think such a thing, it is because if
I reacted the way she did, it would because
I felt that a person was trying to be critical of me. It doesn't mean that she thought you were being critical of her. Even if she did, it may be that she didn't care that you were trying to be critical of her. It may have even been that she was over-joyed that you were trying to be critical of her.
[quote=vander512;5803020]She doesn't need to kick me while I am down. [quote]
Your feeling kicked doesn't make it so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vander512
Why did she want to win the argument so much that she would threaten me like this. Yes, I mean threaten. She was basically telling me to shut up or move on.
|
I really believe that a heart to heart with her is in order. You may be right on every count, but I get the sense that you are projecting quite a lot on her that is not accurate. And look, if our thinking was always spot on, we probably wouldn't need a therapist in the first place right?
Good luck.