I am in therapy and do see my prescriber monthly. My moods are all over the place. I have no friends that want to hang out, ever, any more. I stay either very very depressed, with thoughts of doing something final or I'll get overly happy, nearly manic or hypomanic, and it's fluctuating several times a day. My thought processes are clouded. I'm physically hurting every time I feel down, but I already have chronic pain. I was last month released from hospital after SI. I probably shouldn't have been released and told them, but I'm keeping from harm. I exercise, which is a great feeling, but unless I do it 3 or more hours a day, it's not enough. I don't have that kind of time. I'm probably about to just pick up and go somewhere else, anywhere else. I'm 43 and not beholden to anyone and don't want a romantic relationship because then I'd have to keep that up. I'm mentally spent. I've been paranoid about half the time and it makes my anxiety ramp up like crazy. Help