Hey, I know it's been a long time since I last posted so for those of you that won't know or can't remember the background story to this, I'll just give a quick summary first of all.

I had been searching for a new T after ex-T (who I'll refer to as 'M' and who I'd see for 3 years) rejected me as a returning client, despite her saying that I was welcome to return at a future date if needed.

Following this rejection, which hurt me pretty badly, the first T I came across in my search for a new T was a humanistic/person-centered T (I'll call this T 'F'), who had connections to M. I saw F for a few weeks before terminating after deciding that I wasn't going to get anywhere with this T. I couldn't work it out, either we just didn't 'click' or the humanistic model of therapy wasn't right for me. Added to that, the fact that M and F had connections added unnecessary complications to the relationship and I decided I was better off out.

Feeling better having made a clean break from M, I went in search of another T and came across my current T who I'll call W. Initially, I felt really positive about this T, however as the weeks went on I realized W was spending half the session talking about themselves, recounting personal anecdotes from their past that at best, were only half relevant to my issues. W also brings many of their own opinions to sessions about various topics, including my diagnoses and past treatment. This places W at odds with my ex Ts, Pdocs, etc. It feels as though W is almost trying to undermine the work I have done thus far in therapy, and the importance I had placed on getting an accurate diagnosis which helps me to understand why I am the way I am. In W's opinion, it is just me searching for validation.

I have decided that I don't need these qualities in a T and once again, I am looking for a new T but every time I do, I'm so afraid of picking the wrong one due to negative experiences with the last Ts and worse of all, I'm terrified of getting a new T that I will get attached to in the same way I was attached to M. Perhaps that's why I chose F and W, because I instinctively knew that there was no danger of becoming attached to them but coincidentally, neither has been right for me.

After being harmed by therapy in the past, I vowed never to go back to it again but six months in, I realized that I wasn't recovering and there was so much stuff left unresolved. Furthermore, I have recently realized that almost 2 years after terminating with M, I am still not over the attachment!

I don't know what I'm asking...I guess I'm looking for advice and reassurance from people who understand what it's like to go through therapy.