What an interesting self observation to ponder.

In my own effort to read and observe and study human nature I have learned that boys tend to be encouraged not to be emotional and that it's a sign of weakness. The one emotion that tends to be acceptable it anger, yet, what I remember when I was little was how my mother would constantly say "we don't want to make daddy angry" and then she gave a list of how we had to be quiet when he got home, we were not to bother him in any way, and all the other things we better not do that could make daddy ANGRY.

I remember when my father's beloved collie dog was hit by a car and how he was devastated and how he had to dig a hole to bury it. We peeked out the window and saw him digging and then when he finished he stood in the hole and put his head down and wept. My mother pulled us away from the window and told us how we are not supposed to see our dad cry and how we must never tell him we saw him cry either. She said, men are not supposed to show emotion like that and he would be upset if he knew you saw him upset.

Perhaps the slow music is uncomfortable because you do begin to feel and it sounds to me like you were never allowed to feel "normal" emotions, that it is ok to sit with them and talk about them and learn how to work through them and why you feel them and that it's ok to feel. Because of that lack of nurturing you have grown to hate emotions and you genuinely believe they are bad and a sign of weakness when they happen. This is something a lot of people struggle with and a lot of this comes from how a parent encouraged them to "not feel" or learn about their feelings and that having feelings is ok and normal. Actually, if human beings did not have emotions, human beings would not have survived and thrived in the way human beings have that was so successful where we dominate as a species. We would not have gained in our fight against diseases because there would not be that "care" to do so. We would not preserve life without caring, and we have learned that primates have a degree of "caring" that is essential to how they thrive and survive. We are learning how a lot of if not most mammals have a certain level of "caring" because it's so essential to surviving as a species. It is also the "caring" that compels human beings to study human beings to better understand human nature in an effort towards improving survival as well as learn how to best help ourselves thrive better and longer.