S (Long-term ExT) and J (short-term, first T after S) and C (New T):

So how did you choose your T?
S & J - Psychology Today search
C - I emailed a bunch of practices outlining exactly what I was looking for and asking if they knew of anyone who offered that kind of therapy; I was referred to C.

How did things like their qualifications, experience, approach, personal qualities inform your decision?
Personalities played a big role in choosing S and J. I always said that I chose S because "he's the first T to tell me he had something different to try." He was a PsyD, so I thought I could trust him more.

I left my sessions with J always feeling lighter, better, more ready to take on my life -- that was my sign that he was a good choice. He was really young, though, so I wasn't sure it would work out for long.

That I was referred to C by experienced therapists played largely into my choosing him. He's the first T I've had for whom I've had actual recommendations from other professionals. His personality didn't sit well with me at first, but he's quickly grown on me.

Was there anything about yourself that affected your choice of therapist? (i.e. gender, personal history, beliefs, etc)
I was looking to try a male therapist when I met S - I had been "dumped" by my last female therapist, and I just wanted to try something new.
After S left me, I was so badly hurt...I think I just was driven to work with a new male T because the wound had been made by this male T...

What have you learned through your experience? Would you make the same decision again?
I've learned a lot. I've learned that I can survive devastation. I've learned both how to love and how to survive having my heart broken. I feel braver now - less like I'm looking to avoid the pain of caring about someone, needing them, connecting with them...and then losing them. Because I've survived it now.

I've also learned how to feel grief. I've learned how to sit in it, experience it, and survive it. I've learned that the inner child part of me isn't shameful -- that it's not doing something wrong to have needs and wants. And, I've learned that I'm drawn to people who will hurt me -- and that I need to listen to the red flags and my own instincts rather than letting someone else tell me what's right and wrong.