Hello everyone. It has been a while since I have logged on and just wanted to give you an update in my crazy world.

My husband ended up filing for divorce at the end of November (after I filed in July and then called it off) and I was served the papers 2 weeks ago. I was very hurt and angry, but yet not too surprised. I have not seen my husband since the middle of November when I went to our house to confront him about his decision to divorce me. We have chatted online a few times and had some friendly banter, but we have also had a few blow outs since then.

Currently, my husband is very upset with me because I questioned him about the girl he had an affair with this summer. I noticed that she is back on his MySpace friends list so I could only assume that they are being friendly again. They do see each other every Sunday at church, but he swears up and down that they don't even speak and that she has a new boyfriend who even attends church with her every Sunday. My husband tells me he is alone and concentrating on himself. He tells me he has no interest i dating because he is trying to break his cycle of going from one relationship to another which he has done for the past 10 years now.

I on the other hand have been dating. I have been casually dating a man for about a month now although I'm not feeling any real romantic spark and I don't see it going anywhere. I have also been talking to another man who I am very interested in, but we have only been out one time. We chat online a couple times a day and exchange text messages, but he was very busy with his law school finals before Christmas and then of course busy with his family at Christmas. Anyway, we are finally supposed to go on our second date this coming week after new years.

I am still missing my husband and I cry almost daily. I am trying to move on with my life, but things are hard. I am attending therapy every week and my therapist thinks I am making progress. I know that I have made progress, but sometimes its very hard for me to accept where my life has gone. I still don't want the divorce, but I know it is inevitable. My husband has made up his mind and I am not going to try to contest the divorce.

I have realized that there are bigger and better things out there for me and I do look forward to those things. I will always love my husband and I do wish him well. It has been very hard for me to not think that he will once again get married and end up in the same position he is in with me. He says he is desperate to have children which really scares me because if he does end up in the same spot, then there will be children involved and they will be the ones to suffer the most. My therapist tells me not only do I need to stop predicting the future, but I also need to stop worrying about E and what his futures holds. His life is no longer my life and it is none of my business what he does.

So, there it is. I am alone and living my life as a single woman again. Sometimes I get very depressed and other times I'm happier than I've been in years. I've figured out that the best thing for me to do is to take my life one day at a time and that is whats going to get me through this whole ordeal.