That's a pretty good short list. I have some additional thoughts as this is something I look out for. I'm hypervigilant.
I think so many people have attachment issues, it's find as long as they undergo intensive therapy and so likely have the self awareness to keep it in check. It will be most risky with psychodynamic therapy, less impactful with those doing CBT type therapies.
Look for a good sense of self. Someone who stays true to herself but can be flexible and open minded.
Easy signs to steer clear of (not judging-many are why people go to therapy but they should keep these in check) include: being eager to please, dismissive, maladaptive, reactional, defensive, need to rescue/caretaking, unstable relationships, overly rigid, controlling, overly confident/arrogant, doesn't listen, emotionally unavailable (to an extent) or lack of affect, impulsive, workaholic-life revolves around therapy, low self esteem, rapidly changing emotions, seductive, charming...I'll stop there as probably over half the population has these issues.
Someone with a solid sense of self will be more of the same person from week to week rather than changing values, interests, moods. Think the opposite of DID.
Maladaptive behavior-trying to make the environment change rather than adapting too it. Unconscious defense mechanisms sometimes serve this purpose.
One big sign is projection--seeing you as someone else rather than who you are--aka transference. The greater the transference/countertransference, the greater the attachment problems.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Calilady
I found this part interesting (in one of Stopdog's references):
Therapists in a secure state of mind, Wallin suggests, access a wide range of experience in themselves and in the client, and are mindful of feelings, ideas and bodily reactions.
Therapists in a dismissive state will likely tend to focus on thoughts rather than feelings, and avoid developing intimacy with their clients to avoid being rejected or controlled.
Therapists in a preoccupied state may tend to merge or over-identify with their client, have difficulties setting boundaries and avoid conflict to avoid being abandoned.
Therapists in an unresolved state would be more likely to find themselves fluctuating between victim and rescuer roles; they may avoid approaching trauma or push clients to face it prematurely.
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