Recently I did a couple of internships that did not lead to a job offer or a hint about a job opening with a different employer. Then, I was supposed to be hired by company X but at the end nothing happened because I think the hiring manager changed her mind and , probably, hired somebody else. Basically I had bad luck and kept meeting the wrong people.

As a result of these failures my depression got worse and I felt mentally exhausted, my self-esteem and worth reached a rock bottom and I became suicidal again. Now I am scrambling to keep myself together and regain some mental stability, because without that how can I project myself in a good light to a potential employer?

Another factor that's very stressful at the moment is dealing with the aftermath of my divorce. When I separated from my ex-husband two years ago hell broke loose again (it happened several times before for different reasons). All the skeletons of unresolved issues jumped out of the closet. So I am wrestling them and, at the same time, I am dealing with a middle age crisis. I don't know where my life is going and whether there is any point in keep going I mean from an existential and philosophical point of view.