Quote:
Originally Posted by GoodVibrations101
I recently moved to northern California, and I notice some different qualities in my new therapist that I think are partly due to cultural differences.
1. This new therapist doesn't seem to work very hard. She doesn't have late hours or weekend hours. For awhile, she was slow to answer emails and telephone calls, until I complained. She is regularly telling me to "take it easy" and "don't work so hard." Her work ethic seems to be weaker than my previous therapists.
2. This therapist also counsels me not to try to figure things out. If a co-worker acts in a mean way, she recommends to me "just stop thinking about it or worrying about it." And when I form interpretations and opinions about the actions of people, she says, "Don't judge them because you don't really know them and you never will know them."
3. She is of the school of thought to just give up if something gets to be too hard or too difficult.
I don't really relate to this therapist because I am a hard-working person who tries to find complete answers to my questions, and I am okay with forming interpretations or making judgments even if these ideas are not set in stone. Still I want to form ideas and judgments.
Thoughts about this therapist and the California cultural effects?
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1. Not having evening or weekend hours doesn't translate to lazy for me. She may have set her priorities differently than you, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's lazy. Example: I'm a teacher. I know teachers who work into the evening every day and also on the weekends. That's a choice they've made and/or they are getting paid extra to do so because they sponsor particular activities. I don't work late or on the weekends. I'm not a lazy teacher by any means, but I made a decision years ago that my family will always come before my job. My evenings and weekends are spent with family, church, and choir activities. Your therapist may have other obligations and priorities outside of work. Laziness may have absolutely nothing to do with limited work hours.
2. Are you a ruminator? Do you spend a great deal of time dwelling over other people's motivations, etc? While not stated well, perhaps what your therapist is trying to communicate to you (badly though) is that over-thinking things and ruminating on them might be causing you anxiety, depression, obsessions, etc. and that maybe you could consider approaching things differently and that might help. (No idea, but sometimes it helps to see another perspective.)
3. What kinds of things is she saying to let go of? Are you prone to perfectionism? Are you prone to berating yourself if you don't succeed?
Just offering perhaps another perspective not knowing all the details. If the therapist isn't your style, perhaps consider a different therapist.