I agree it's you 100%. I'm in my sixties now. I did a lot af crazy things in my teens and early twenties. Some of of it normal rebellion, some was drug related, many reasons. But that was decades ago.

Even many "Normal" people did crazy that things in their youth.

I've been sort of pushing back with Pdocs for years now. I ask them if something that happened 40 years ago is really that relevent. Also when my doc starts scribbling I flat out ask her what she's writing. I play dumb and ask" if you're writing that down it must seem important to you, please explain this to me so I can understand."