Today at work something happened that made me freak out. It made me feel sui and i fixed an emergency appt with my T.

We got to talk it through but in doing so i had to admit to her my sui plans that she thought were gone.

She seemed so hurt by that, by me not telling her for so long and by me still having these plans. i didnt think enough about it before telling her, i didnt think she would react that way, i didnt think much would have changed for her. i was wrong and now i feel SO GUILTY.

i didnt want to hurt her, i was just too overwhelmed to think about the consequences of telling her. im so sorry.

i know best thing for her would be me working this through and quitting my plans but i dont see it as an option.
maybe i should quit therapy and free her from me.
any other way to repair this?

i never wanted to hurt anyone, but i hurt everyone just by being me