Jinny... I hope you don't leave pc. I know what you are feeling about pc but it won't help to leave. I've done that in reaction to stuff here but in the end it was me who lost out. I'd miss not seeing you around Jinny so hoping you will stay.

I don't do much for New Year's anymore. I stay home with my son and we ring in the new year together with the clattering of pans and honking of horns and anything else we can think of to make noise at midnight. We usually have a prayer ceremony afterwards with a small offering of my mother's favourite foods in memory of her and our ancestors.

I never liked the parties. Like you I often ended up in a sad place. Didn't much like the kissing either. Slobbering drunkedness and gushy sentiment was always a turn off.

In my previous life as a fashion designer I was always too tired from making party dresses up to the last minute to go out and party afterwards. I was usually sound asleep long before midnight.

When I lived with a cousin for a couple of years I carried on a long family tradition that he had inherited. I fired our grandfather's shootgun out the back door of the family homestead just as he had done and his father and grandfather before him.

When my son was born I used him as my excuse for staying home. We had a few friends over a couple of times. Played cards and drank some wine and brought in the new year with a little champagne.

Even went to bingo a couple of times. That was fun. Didn't win any of the big money prizes but it was a different experience ringing in the new year with a hall full of bingo players. They'd pass out hats and noisemakers and at midnight pause the games for a few minutes of new year madness.

Now I just stay home with my son. Don't like to be on the roads. Still too many people drinking and driving. I don't get sad anymore. I'm greatful for that. I always felt lonely because I didn't have the same party spirit as those around me. It made me sadder to feel like an alien surrounded by party animals. Before I was able to just let the scene pass me by without it triggering sadness I'd try to go to bed early to shorten my pity party time.

Well enough about me and my quiet new year traditions..... I really am sorry Jinny that you are feeling the stress of the evening. Any way you can make an appearance and slip out early? People will always be disappointed but sometimes that has to be a secondary concern. They'll get over it if you don't show up. A heck of a lot faster than you will get over it if you force yourself to do something you aren't up to doing.

Sometimes we disrespect our illnesses. I mean if you had a migrain headache, or you had back pain or you had the flu..... would you hesitate passing on an evening out? Most wouldn't push themself and risk getting sicker. So why do we push ourselves when we are emotionally off balance and at risk of getting worse by the party.

Do what will best minister to your needs right now. If you need to stay home to prevent a meltdown then be honest with yourself about it and make the right choice for you. If you want to stay home and start a new tradition than do that. It's bowing to pressure that has often contributed to our unwellness. Learning to know and respect your own boundaries is critical to wellness.

I pray for peace to fill your heart..... peace to fill your life...... and peace to come to our world.

Happy New Year Jinny...... may it bring you great blessings of happiness and joy. Blessings for you and your family.