Hello everyone. I am a 22 year old single man who just graduated from college, who has developed numerous friendships during my fun and fast four years, but I have had a history of bad luck keeping friendships involving the opposite gender. Here it goes….

I am not in a hurry to marry (fine to date for a few years before marriage), or start a family, and I have not tried as hard as I probably could have to keep a date, considering that I view my education as my highest priority, but I have always had an interest in romantic relationships. In high school I pushed and pushed to ask a few girls that I liked on dates, but to no avail. When I eventually did find someone that I consistently took on dates for a few months during my senior year of high school, I felt a disconnect and sensed a lack of maturity with this person, and she never became my girlfriend. Asking a girl to my senior prom also seemed like a frustrating task. Once I got to college, I found a lovely and perky lady in my major who I struck a close friendship with, but then lost her when she seemed distracted with her social life and started dating someone else. Along the way I have also made opposite-gender friends who I enjoyed pursuing hobbies with (my social organizations, church functions, and chatting over coffee). I also had multiple female friends in my Bible study groups, but all of them were either already dating or cringed with anxiety at the thought of dating. I even left my church of two years because of my dissatisfaction over my superficial relationships with a largely female congregation. Since then, I have given up on the possibility of dating and harbor angry thoughts against my female peers and women in general.

I do have some unattractive qualities, such as “being too nice”, invading someone’s space when I’m impatient or upset, being clingy, being overly passionate and rigid about my religion, but I am also considered very handsome by my close friends, have travelled to several countries, earned an Eagle Scout award, adore football and baseball and crave the outdoors. People always remember me for having a cheerful, people-loving and positive demeanor like no other, and I always try to think of something encouraging to say to people, even those I dislike with a passion.

But no matter how hard I try, my efforts to date or just simply be friends with ladies just end up in embarrassment and shame or I get stuck in the “friendzone”. Seeing my peers in happy relationships and marriage, both on social media and in person, intensifies my self-pity and anxiety I have been coping with for the past year. Is there something wrong with me? Is it true that I am unlovable?