I'm glad you could put this here alex.

You know how you were punishing yourself yesterday? Well to me this email thing sounds like more punishment, both directed at you plus him.

You know, you could email him, but with a different focus this time. Try something different. You're emotionally withdrawing. Why don't you use the email to try to connect to him? Connecting can hurt. But it could also be a healthy step forward.

I know you're real mad at him. Why don't you save your mad for your next session. Be mad to his face and get your response there and then. Then you'll have a chance to see that being mad is okay. It doesn't make you a bad person. You get mad in an email, you know he won't do emails good and it will once again be punishment for you and him.

Give him a chance to talk to your hurt part alex.

If it's still too risky, that's okay. You can talk to us here. We'll stay with you until you get to see him again.

Just try not to use the email, or lack of emailing, as a punishment on yourself.

Sending you warm thoughts.