Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyRae
Also..I can't help but wonder what I could have gained,how different my entire life could have been had I not been abused.
To me,going through trauma isn't the same as going through things that leave a person saying "if I had to do it all over I would do it again because it made me who I am today".
I feel I have lost so much more than I have gained by trauma.Actually,I can't really even think of anything I have 'gained' from it,that word,to me,means something good and positive,yet there's not a single good or positive thing about trauma.Any good or positive for me is not a result of being abused,it's a result of working hard to better myself.
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I can relate to this completely. I often wonder how my life would be if my childhood and teenage years hadn't been filled with abuse and witnessing of abuse. I really don't think there is anyway to know, and I also just can't find anything that I've gained from experiencing the trauma that I experienced. I just know deep down, I was meant to be someone different.
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"Do you know what’s really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It can’t go away, you see. And… and it follows you around like a ghost."
~ A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003)
"I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t a member of any particular group."
~ Anne Rice
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