"The worst is wondering and feeling like the first amazing year of our relationship was a complete fraud. Did he really see me as amazing? Maybe he was completely messing with me. I always thought this guy was too smart and amazing for me. Like it was too good to be true. And it was. Once he got home he had his sister message me terrible things. About my mom (who kicked him out for being a drunk) and about me. I just feel so many emotions and i just want to feel better."

I have a really hard time dealing with lies (malicious ones) too. The fact that he is treating you so terrible must mean you meant something to him. If you are ever tempted to go back--don't--reread this post. You say you hate that you wasted 3 years---just don't make it anymore than 3. He has broken you but if you stay away, time will help you heal.