I left after 31 years of verbal and some physical abuse. Abusers are excruciatingly insecure and take it out on others. Unless they get long term therapy, they will not change. They blame everyone else for their problems. You can call the National Domestic violence hotline. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life and sanity. One sentence helped me leave: "Try to let the side of you that is trying to save yourself....win." I hope you will. No one deserves abuse. He is angry (all abusers are) and nothing (like you said) you do, or don't do will please him......he is miserable and takes it out on you. They are emotional vampires and constantly need their "fix." Their "fix" is you defending yourself and explaining everytime he is abusive. I learned that secret and stopped responding to any abuse. xo
Abuse also damages your immune system...every time you experience abuse your body releases cortisol. Cortisol damages the immune system. Fight for your life so you can live in peace.