I feel exactly that way. Its gets so suffocating. There are times when I am really happy as well. But mostly I stay depressed. I feel that I am begin unthankful for the things I have in life by staying depressed. I should be happy. Because there are people with much worse conditions. But I can't help it. This is the way I have been for past 4-5 years. I have lots of problems with my personality. And I think its getting worse. Sometimes there's nothing to distract you. There's nothing that will provoke your interest. Nothing seems to be working for what you feel somtimes. Pull you away from all those disturbing thoughts. Staying positive is one way to counter it all. Giving yourself reasons for the things that happen. Thinking that better awaits.