@atlasBrah

First I want to say that I normally write on the French psychology forums but I felt like I needed to get in touch with other people's cultures and how they deal with their problems in other parts of the world

At one point in my life I worked as a French Language Assistant in a rather good Sixth Form College of the UK - they are specialised in Art (Queen Elizabeth Sixth Form College in Darlington, near Newcastle). It is located in the North East but I can assure you that you will receive a very warm welcome there and such a positive and strong encouragement. We all worked very hard for our students to reach the toppest grades and enter the best universities they could.

I remember talking with the students about what they had planned to do after college and how they figured out their future. Some of them knew exactly what they wanted to do, they had planned everything very precisely, etc. of course a lot of them were worried about the high tuition fees of university but at least they had all made up their mind and all wanted to continue to study.

You are under the pressure of your dad right now. He should understand that you are young and that at your age the brain is "changing" all the time, moving, receiving all types of informations, releasing chemical answers, etc. You need to understand that it is a normal process that can be either exacerbated - or inhibitated. You won't reach a total inhibition and that's not what we want because of course you want to stay in touch with the world and continue to feel what is going on. But sometimes we all need to relax.

How to do that ? The brain is composed of some sort of "tracks", the more you use a track the more it becomes like a motorway making it harder for you to react differently to a specific situation. The problem is that at one point the "track" can start "bleeding". It is a sort of wound that you cause to yourself in going over a difficult tension again and again. So it is like a plaster you need to put onto that wound. Some people need medication to help them in relieving the tension, but if you understand how it all works you can do that job by yourself. The question is how to create such a "mental plaster".

- First, stop scratching your wound: avoid crying. It literally digs into your wound and exacerbates your emotional difficulties.
- Second, avoid all sorts of difficult discussions with your parents for one week. Make sure you are not asked anything that can hurt.
- Third, force yourself to adopt (even if it is at first artificial) a new way to react to the remarks of your father. You won't change him so change your reactions. You want to stop suffering.

We talked about the exacerbation of certain "tracks" in the brain but there is also another major element to take into account: stress inhibates the production of serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is what makes you happy, what makes you want to get up in the morning. And certainely your level of serotonin is very low right now. You can feel it when you are getting touchy about little things, when you can't cope with daily things to do.

There are ways to raise naturally the level of serotonin (if you can't do that there are anti-depressant medication that do that for you) :
- Avoid stress (!) for some days, like we said, stop the difficult conversations for one week at least.
- Be good to yourself. Listen to music you love, take your time...
- Don't write on your telephone at night while in bed - that light is not good for your eyes
- Eat well (some say it is good to eat chocolate!)
And you'll see for yourself once you start recovering, there are many other ways to get better again.

Don't hesitate to come back to me if you've got questions (excuse my English if there are mistakes in my message!) - and have a look at the Queen Elizabeth Sixth Form College, that may be actually a very good project that would link your ambitions and your father's for you.

Best wishes, let me know!
Coralie