2 more weeks!! ((((((((((hugs!))))))))

I got my appnt afterall, but it didn't go very well... she felt we weren't connecting, i felt i was being attacked in a kind of sneaky way and put up barriers. this time i only have to wait 5 days.... hopefully it will go better next time.

Now the big change is that i need a new job. I also feel like things internally are shifting and that worries me some. I tried to define it to T but she just looked at me confused. She's an anxiety specialist, so she may have no understanding of what i am talking about.

I look at things and while seeing them, i also see other things and feel like i'm falling apart... ie; i saw a white VW van and while looking at it i felt like i was being nudged into a different reality than my actual one of driving to T. I kept seeing flickerings of other things that I couldn't comprehend. We had a blue vw van - very different from the one i saw... but we knew ppl who had one like that. Both tend to make my skin crawl for some reason. I am unclear if these are flashbacks, or panic, or my induction to insanity... afraid to tell t, but when i tried, it didn't make any sense anyway.