Here is an odd tidbit - there have been a few times when I thought back to memories of good times that involved drinking or using since I stopped. Nearly all this reminiscing was done while discussing abstinence here or in a meeting.

I think I need to get better at making the right decision when that same old line of thinking comes up after several months of success - maybe I can control it. I usually decide I can and don't drink right away. It's (an invalid) confirmation of control; even though I decide I can drink, I don't until an in control social drinker would. The really tough part is that there is an assumption of a rational mental state and that is often not the case when I make the decision; I am usually hypomanic and utterly convinced that the logic behind the decision makes sense. My hope is that I can learn to use a decision making methodology like RI's and get it so ingrained that it sticks with me even when I am a genius.