My SD who will be 20 next month hasn't said that she wants to live with us, but I can see H trying with all his might to make it happen. She currently lives with her mom and her mom's BF 3 hours away. She goes through these bouts of drama where nothing goes right for her. SO many boy problems, she takes a job and then quits because "everyone she works with is out to get her". We don't know if she's going to school or not because she'll go for a semester and then stop because she has anxiety or something. She can be so moody and when she's here she just sits on the couch and plays on her phone. I'm not sure what her current relationship is with her mother, but it seems to be okay. She smokes a lot of pot, freely in front of both her mom and dad. She drinks and does that freely as well. I mean she came up with a friend for a concert last month and stayed with us and H tells them as he's going to bed "You guys can have at the rest of the whiskey"! And they did. Her parents aren't parents, they are friends. H disses on her mom for just being a friend but he doesn't see he's the same way. He never asks her about school or if she's even attending, about any boys in her life, about her goals. Their conversations seems to consist of movies, video games and sushi. H thinks he can swoop in and save the day when she gets like this and things aren't going right with her mom or friends or school or work so that's when she wants to come up and live here.

He is going down to see her next weekend and I can just see him coming home saying "I told her she should come up and live with us for a while". He doesn't see any need in talking to me about it, because even if I get upset and say I don't want her here he'll say she's his daughter and she can come whenever she wants. We've never had her stay with us for more than 2 weeks and no, she can't just up and come and live with us at 20. She needs to get out away from her parents and live with friends or something. Moving herself 3 hours away to a podunk town to simply do the same thing she's doing down there does nothing for her. Sure, H will say that it will be so different for her here and he'll make things happen, but he won't. He'll come home and drink and smoke pot with her and play video games. She's working at Starbucks down there and is apparently starting school in 2 weeks, although H doesn't seem to know for sure if she's going or not. She's got her friends there.

Do you think she would really WANT to come up here if he posed the question? Do you think she SHOULD? Do you think she just needs to get away from everyone?