Right now my mind's in an alright place, it hadn't been for the past two days. Usually it's easier to handle when I first wake up and then steadily gets worse as the day progresses. My therapy days are normally Wednesdays. When I got out of the hospital last week I had an appointment on Friday. I had a bad feeling and was fighting to keep it at bay. I had my friend come into my session with me because of this unease. Out of nowhere this suspicion began rising: My therapist wasn't my therapist. I tried to push it away but the feeling has become more and more unshakable. I had my usual appointment yesterday and couldn't hardly speak because I don't trust him. He's not my therapist. He looks like him and talks like him but he's not him. I know there are people after me and they're likely using "him" as a tool to hurt me. They also want to kill my friend. I feel bad because I keep checking on her and needing her to be around, but it's to protect her. I feel like these people are also going to try and turn my fiance against me by putting thoughts into his head. After a while, I think he's going to hate me. I don't want that to happen so I'm trying to fight them by showing him I love him. These people (who ever they are) want to strip me of the people who've helped keep me together. They're going to take them all away and I don't know if I can stop them. I know how crazy this sounds, trust me, but I can't shake this. They follow me and I think tap my phone. They've placed impostors in my life (my "therapist" and others). I'm also coming to find that my older sister isn't real. She never was.

I guess I'm posting this here because I think I trust this site. I hope I can still trust this site. I can't lose everyone like this. I won't make it long if I do.