Quote:
Originally Posted by cielpur
I guess the point of this post is more a realization that my expectations with this man 20 years later were totally unrealistic; that because he friend-zoned me back then, then got married, it would be totally fine to just be regular friends. Nope, I guess that's not how it works in these situations. My mistake.
So, I feel pretty foolish. I shouldn't assume that just because a relationship doesn't work out, that a genuine, platonic friendship is possible. He never gave me the chance and so his rejection hurts my ego a little bit. Like, he's friends with all of these other brilliant women, but thinks I'm just not worth his time. Esp. our mutual friends who are women, whom he never had a relationship with (as far as I know). Because I feel like if we'd met as colleagues, or school friends, we would be real friends.
Can't men and women be friends after a relationship ends? Esp. if 20 years has passed? I assumed it was possible. I had no idea he'd so easily delete me from his life again, without acknowledging first that I had ever meant anything to him (which apparently, I do not).
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Ever consider that he has a true inability to have authentic emotionally intimate relationships? Toying with you is about power and control? How was his relationship with his mom?
In a odd way, you've described a familiar type of character. Not on a personal level, but in a nothing seems to amaze me how different individuals in different regions can have experience with similar personality types.
Just the other night a friend of mine had clicked something on my page. I went to her page, saw 2 familiar male faces. One being very platonic of the past but his picture showed his daughter and my son had gone to the same school. Yet, our paths hadn't quite crossed. The other was my ex. The more things change, they remain the same. When he posts(yes I peeked in), still the same 3 dozen or so responses. Mainly women. His mom sent him to his dad's at a young age while his siblings stayed. Totally wounded. Then I peeked at the other guy. We all went to school together. Yet these two are not fb friends. Hmm? I'm tossing this in here because on some deeper level, I feel it shows the variation of filling voids and being whole.
Sorry to read of such a sucky experience.
