I have never experienced life without PTSD - my childhood was even filled with PTSD... I could give examples to the unbelieving... then again I am also DID... so it is not suprising that I have always had PTSD.... so... I have no life to "go back to before PTSD".... this has always been my life..

I have "moments" of peace... and I treasure those... I really truely do.... so.. life before PTSD.... or life without PTSD... most likely.. will never happen for me... I do not have a supportive family.. nor supportive friends... that help....and that is ok... that is my "lot"... and after all these years.. is ok..

so my success.... is my moments that I have had.. when I was 14... flying a kite in the middle of the field... my hands raw from the wind... but seeing it go up farther and farther and farther... feeling free from pain... and division that is in my spirit..

being 8 years old.. and being out in the field.. the sun shining... and twirling.. and twirling... and falling down and watching the clouds... passing on by... feeling "whole and at peace"

being in FL... with my son... on an off island off the Gulf... watching the beautiful thunderstorm... the lightening... feeling the excitment in the air.... and the connection to my son...so very... peaceful.. and together...

being in a massage T (special trained to help surviors)... feeling a moment sooo peaceful... and being whole... and experiencing "me" together... for the first time ever...

my best friend of 29 years coming over to my house... and spending the afternoon for Christmas this year... and laughing.. and laughing.. and laughing....

These are sucesses... true.. wonderful successes.... moments in time that I value... that make.. the rest "worth it".... worth the effort... worth who I am... worth living life though it is filled with PTSD triggers... and being DID...

yepper... that is what makes "IT" worth it...

the successes of my life... measured in "moments in time"