I'm having so much trouble grieving for my mom. I know I have to but I can't just let her go like that. I never let go of anything or anyone that I love as much as I loved her. I'm so afraid I'll lose myself if I let go of her and accept that she's dead. The doctors gave her 2 years...I want those 2 years back! She only lived 2 months! why does it have to be this way? I didn't have enough time with her! I have so many questions for her and so many things I still want her to know. I can't tell her.

See this is why I don't believe in god! He takes everything that I love from me! I am so angry and sad and just miserable! Sorry I mentioned god. I just don't get where I can keep the things I love!

Me and my mom weren't always on good terms and I want to fix that. It took me realizing that my mom was dying to make me forgive her for not believing I was molested by her husband...that took over 10 years! Why did I have to hold such a grudge when I could've been loving her that whole time?