I do this really bad thing, where I avoid. I did it today. I didn't go to meditation group. And that wasn't too bad, because I wasn't required to go. But I just started a new volunteer gig, and my first day would have been today, but I cancelled, saying I am not feeling well. It's true. I am not feeling up for it. I just worry about disappointing people, and people thinking I'm weird.

I know that my depression is the thing that makes me avoid. It is my illness. I know that when I show up to things, I feel better, too. It is just hard today. Really hard. The urge is so strong.

If anybody has any suggestions on how to stop avoiding, or how to get well and heal from depression, I'm all ears. I probably already have heard it, but I don't mind reiteration and reminders. They help. I have been doing the avoid-dance, for a long time.