Riding the toxic rocket: 14 years ago I was paralyzed following the rush of loading a 40-foot shipping container and moving from the South Bay to Honolulu. I had been so deeply depressed for so long that I decided in desperation to jump-start my system: I read on Erowid that DXM was a powerful dissociative that acts as an SSRI, so I went to the drugstore and took an OTC flood dose, popping an entire package of cough suppressant tablets and washing them down with espresso-strength coffee. I staggered down the crowded and brightly-illuminated streets of Waikiki as they became muted, crystalline and tinkly. The stress on my brain induced the phase transition I had hoped for, rocketing me out of depression into mania. Erowid reported instances of long-term cognitive impairment, fatal liver injury, cardiovascular effects and hypersedation following DXM abuse, but none of those consequences materialized. Don’t ever try this: It was very stupid but it worked.