Hello all.
I see that I started this thread back in April, and I am back again because again I find myself desperate for advice. Things have not got any better, and in fact I'm amazed I have survived this last few months myself. So, she didn't tell us, but at some point she came off all her meds, which makes sense, because on lamictil she was pretty stable, and at one point I actually asked my husband why she was acting so out of control and making lots of terrible decisions. She was visibly worse in terms of everything, her attitude, choices she made etc...
We were due to fly to the UK for 5 weeks at the end of May, and the day before we were due to fly she told me she thought she might be pregnant. Well, she was. Now a few weeks before this she had a major meltdown because we took the car off her because she chose to drive it while in a state therefore not safe for her or others. The reason she drove in a state was because she had been arguing with this same boyfriend. Well, the night we wouldn’t give her the car keys she had a breakdown. She was curled up on the kitchen floor saying ‘I want to kill you and dad.’ Then she packed a bag and ordered an uber. Well, she says that the boyfriend told her she could only stay if she slept with him, and that’s when she fell pregnant. Then she said it was our fault for ‘driving her to him.’
We didn’t know what to do about the trip, but in the end decided to all go to the UK, where she got a termination. Now, when we got back to the USA in July, she went back to this same boyfriend and at one point said he strangled her until she passed out. (she exaggerates so I don’t think she passed out, but still.) So she talked to the police about this. This was the 3rd time she has called police about him. The first time, she said he got into her bed and assaulted her. This came to nothing. The second time he had a knife to her and she could have prosecuted him but didn’t. The third time I just mentioned.
Her behavior has spiraled. She lies about where she is going and who with then stays out all night. At one point a few weeks ago she threw something at me in anger and I told her to leave. She did and was gone for 2 weeks, and I was getting worried and she asked to come back so we let her, but she was back at it immediately staying out all night etc. Basically she is still seeing this boyfriend. When challenged about it, she says she cant quit him and the police told her that women in an abusive relationship go back at least 7-8 times before being able to leave for good. However, I also heard her on the phone to someone saying how they enjoy playing mental games and I think he is as ill as her, and they do enjoy the drama, lying, arguing etc…
Well, after she came home she has brought a puppy home. It is adorable of course, but I don’t agree with how she is looking after it. Now, she’s not being cruel, but she’s certainly not doing it right. She is very anti social and if I challenge her about it I just get a mouthful of verbal abuse.
Help. I can’t live with her for much longer. And in case anyone says I’m cruel, I would do ANYTHING to help her, but she doesn’t want help, nor does she think her actions are any worse than the average teen, so what can I do? Until SHE feels she needs help, there’s nothing I can do, and not being able to help her is killing me.
Any advice welcomed.