Could I be so messed up and crazy I don't know it and I'm the one who is out of line and causing all these problems and blaming another? Am I so f$%&-$ up I don't deserve any better? I don't deserve respect? Can I possibly be such a head case I don't see that I am bringing this on myself? That I am terrible to others? That I am such a terrible person...ungrateful, disrespectful. Unloving?