Hi Carnival Doll,

Welcome to the forums.

I am sorry that you are experiencing these things. It does sound like trauma. It sounds like you have been through some terrible experiences... Does your life feel safer now?

You have good self-awareness. Moving forward, try your best to remain aware of your triggers and your reactions to them. It can help you better understand yourself and process the trauma. These are important details to bring to a therapist whom you trust.


I am also really sensitive and triggered by noise, more-so when I was younger. I associate it to being yelled at a lot as a child and being forced to ride on a really loud snow mobile when I was younger. Growing up I would get so angry at the vacuum cleaner and have a panic attack; I would literally leave the house when my mom was vacuuming. Overtime it has become more tolerable, but I was so afraid to even run a lawn-mower. Exposure to these things in baby steps is a good way to combat the feelings.

I saw a physical altercation between a teammate on a hockey team and his dad. I stepped in to the hallway where it was happening and I froze and immediately felt overwhelmed with emotion and was scared. I started crying and went looking for help. This is an example of being triggered by old traumas. Sometimes we can understand why the triggers have an effect on us, sometimes we don't even know what the triggers are. I was triggered because there was a lot of fighting in our house growing up and I recall several times my Dad pushing my Mom around; physical altercations did happen...

Anyways, I hope you are safer these days and that you can feel less alone. We understand. If you want to share more, feel free. There is a very slim chance your family will find your posts, but if you feel the need for privacy you can always choose to private message us.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz