I am still new at forum use and see all the support and try to give as I can, but I am still not very good. I feel as if I try and try and I can't get passed thinking I am not good enough. I hadnt for over a dozen yrs...now I am married to a wonderful man and I want to say i regret marrying him cause as I see it I have ruined his life. He has so much to give, he is so much better than anything I can ever be and I just see myself as a concrete block around his neck. I am sick. I am hurting. I am coning off meds and I am not that strong. I am an emotional dump swirling the dregs of the toilet. New year...hell, what about the next second???

melanie