My thoughts are generally selfviolent, like what a loser and idiot and bat s""t crazy and.... It's not true I know, and they had the problem, but it's the people that have said that throughout my life to me. I see their faces saying it and I charge on harder and faster. I need to let it all go so I can do things for the right reasons. Letting go has to be done, because it's imprisoning me to keep it surrounding me.
I must have listened to Rufus Wainwright's "14th Street" 12 times today, thinking of my ex. It's both sad and empowering at the same time. I never want to be involved with someone like that again or anyone like anything. People have all just hurt me and I learned to hurt myself by watching them.

I need an island of misfit toys to go and live on.