Today started good. Went to church with my fella then put to buy a birthday gift for a friend. Then I headed to a baby shower for a friend I hadn't seen in a long time! I knew it'd be awkward because a girl who hates me was gonna be there but I didn't know how awful It would be! I sat there alone while no one talked to me and this girl would stare and then avoid eye contact with me. I've tried asking why she hates me. She just up and blocked me on Facebook one day and start talking to me. I tried asking her what was wrong once when I saw her out she just said that she was busy. We were best friends since middle school and we graduated 10 years ago if that tells you how long we've been friends. See I think she hates me because I wasn't around when her mom died. But we cannot she died I was in the hospital because of an intentional overdose at an attempt to take my life. I didn't have access to a phone so I had no idea until the day that I left at her moms funeral is that day. I'll call her soon as I could and I talk to her and we even hung out a few times after that and then she just shut me out of her life.

I can't help it happen and I wish it was different but it's not. I mean, I wasn't mad that she didn't support me when my dad died because I knew that she was busy at school and couldn't come home. Can she really not except the fact that I was sick and couldn't be there physically? I guess I'm also sad because two days ago marks 10 years since my dad passed away and that's always hard. Anyhow I ended up just leaving and cried my eyes out all the way home. And it up calling the girl who the shower was for unexplained and we're going to have coffee tomorrow. I'm just a weakling I can't handle rejection I guess. Maybe always be like this or maybe one day I'll just give up and no one will have to deal with me anymore.