((((skittles)))) i lost my gramma a few years back and it was hard on our family.. there arent many of us and mom took it very hard... it didnt help that within a year, we also lost a cousin who was very involved with the family.. two strikes in a short period of time.. like you, i worried about mom..

for me, being depressed, it was hard to process my feelings...

i told myself how grama had had a good life and had done all she could for us by giving unmeasured love..

what ive learned about dying is what hurts most i think, is this idea that the person is now gone, and gone forever...

i tricked myself, maybe in a good way... along about the time gramma died a popular movie was out.. its ad said something like "when people die, its not them who close the door, its us" ...

i thought about that some... it eased my pain to think gramma was still here, but it was only that i couldnt see her anymore..

in truth, she is still here... in my heart and my mind she lives and appears often... i am not going to close the door on her... i will continue to remember her lessons and she is very alive in my heart...

(((((skittles)))))