MentalFloss, did you ever tell him you had a video you wanted to watch and explain you wanted cuddling or whatever you wanted for comfort?

I think some guys are not experienced in comforting others, especially women. A lot of people just like "hanging out" and get comfort from that and I think some guys might not have been upset that he was on the phone and doing other things, they would have just played his video games, watched the TV, etc. and felt better? Have you ever discussed your relationship and had a circumstance where you needed comforting before so he had a clue? I don't understand why you stayed the night and slept on the couch instead of either getting angry with him and leaving or initiating a discussion of what was wrong with his behavior right then. I wouldn't have "held on" to it now, that's only bothering you I think, because he's still clueless because you all haven't discussed it? I think maybe you need to spell it out to him instead of just expecting him to get it.
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At one point, I simply left. He called and talked me into coming back

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I don't see any "gosh darn it, get off the phone, NOW, I need you!" discussion or information to him and he called and talked you into coming back (because he wanted you near him, apparently) but I don't know if you discussed that something was wrong the first time. Just leaving, isn't a good expression of anger because it is also an expression of boredom or just being "not in the mood" -- I don't see any expression of "need" on your part, just going along with the flow. Yes, your father just died but not everyone responds the same way to such situations and he may not have had any experience in other people's ways of responding. I don't see any clear clues you gave him at the time that you "minded" or were not happy with how he was behaving.